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Part-Time Theist

[ April 5
21:00
"Sarva Shaktimate Parmaatmane Sri Ramaaya
Namaha.”]
She stresses the 'Sri'. Shi-ree. She's said it
25,
now 26,
now 27 times. Repeated sounds usually throw
me into a panic but I'm standing on both feet
equally. Maybe it's because I've been busy
calculating the number of times she's
going to say the prayer in the next 9 minutes:
sixty divided by ten into nine equals fifty-four/
My mother has always prayed violently.
She fed me hope when I was five and I
swallowed shortly but I still have some stuck
in my teeth
So I open my mouth wide
at every 'ramaaya' to show her/
I'm not sure who my mother's God is.
My list so far tells me it's window seats,
full-burnt matchsticks, photo frames, stars,
torn marigolds,
women, rain, report cards and
the sun. I think hers is the only God I believe in/
I think I could write her a prayer book
And maybe today
it'll take nine minutes to form a habit.

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